My old Olivetti Valentine designed by Ettore Sotts and Perry A. King.
My son types a lot of his work, so he’s ahead of the trend,
In order to “save the earth” apparently we must all give up basic sanitation.
Last year it was the Manhattan couple that stopped using toilet paper. Ugh.
This year it’s the fool feeling guilty about taking hot showers. After deluging us with statistics about how wasteful it is to run hot water, she advises us to “take a shower if you need it.”
Listen to me, and listen to me carefully:
As you have noticed, I’ve taken up tango recently, and there is nothing more unpleasant than to come in close contact with someone who has not showered. I even suggested that one of the organizers post one of those signs they have by public swimming pools that say “SHOWER BEFORE YOU ENTER.” You can offer people mints and gum for bad breath, but when you’re on the dance floor you can’t pull a soapy washcloth out of thin air and wash down someone who hasn’t showered. Worse yet, after you’re done dancing with that person, your nostrils hang on to the odor.
We live in the most technologically advanced society in the history of mankind. I urge you to please avail yourself of the most efficient water heater you can afford, and by all means, take a nice hot shower.
Of course this trend towards skimping on basic sanitation goes well with people who think Cuba is a paradise. After all, there is no toilet paper in Cuba (h/t Babalu), and the average person does not have the financial means to own and maintain an efficient water heater. The chronic power shortages don’t help, either.
Living in green misery and living in a totalitarian society might go hand-in-hand. Take advantage and enjoy the benefits of a free capitalist society while you can, and shower on.
Your dance partner will thank you.
Now if you will excuse me I’ll go try to get some relief from this cold that’s making me miserable and take a hot shower.
And it’s just like Cuban “socialism”:
The bien-pensant finance it: TV producer Ben Silverman, Harvey Weinstein and Sting and his wife, Trudie Styler.
There’s a two-tier system for the benefit of the elite: “gaining entrance to the upstairs lounge is a long shot for most,” and you need a secret phone number.
Just like in the island-prison: little-person doorman serves as comandante.
You must pay your dues: “Unless you’re amigos with investors Sting, Harvey Weinstein, and Giuseppe Cipriani, you’ll be leveled a minimum tab for table service that may have you shouting ‘Down with capitalism!'”
You get the same-old, same-old, but pay through the nose: “SIGNATURE DRINK Socialista (vodka, fresh citrus, spiced syrup), $16.” A lot of bucks for an OJ w/vodka.
And the bulls*** flows on: “the hard knocks of elitism built on equality were on view on a recent Friday night”
Do the guys washing the dishes get free schooling and healthcare, I wonder? Do they have to swim out of the place when their shift is over?
Socialista: for the useful West Village idiot that drinks!
Back in 1965 Green Acres hit the airwaves,
Green acres is the place to be
Farm living is the life for me
Land spreading out,
so far and wide
just give me that countryside.
In Green Acres, Eddie Albert had a midlife crisis and moved to the country. Eva Gabor, his wife, came along. If I remember right, they had a pet pig. Update Obi’s Sister reminds me the pig’s name was Arnold.
At the same time as Green Acres, Mr. Whipple made his debut. He brought in a new age of sanitary comfort.
Several years later I worked with a girl who lived the truly organic lifestyle at a commune in the countryside that inhabited a farmhouse with no running water or electricity. She was a very pleasant girl with BO.
Well, now you don’t have to leave Manhattan to take up Stone Age living and ditching the Charmin (no Arnold, though):
Via Ith, The Year Without Toilet Paper
Welcome to Walden Pond, Fifth Avenue style. Isabella’s parents, Colin Beavan, 43, a writer of historical nonfiction, and Michelle Conlin, 39, a senior writer at Business Week, are four months into a yearlong lifestyle experiment they call No Impact. Its rules are evolving, as Mr. Beavan will tell you, but to date include eating only food (organically) grown within a 250-mile radius of Manhattan; (mostly) no shopping for anything except said food; producing no trash (except compost, see above); using no paper; and, most intriguingly, using no carbon-fueled transportation.
Using no paper really means no paper:
Nothing is a substitute for toilet paper, by the way; think of bowls of water and lots of air drying.
After reading the article, I felt sorry for their neighbors, since any kind of “sour odor” in Manhattan living means one thing: roaches. That’s if you’re lucky – most likely it also means mice and rats.
And if The Husband’s middle-age crisis had propelled him to no paper living, he soon would have become The Ex-husband: “For better or for worse” specifically excludes air-drying.
As for commuting to work on a Razr scooter, either Mrs Conlin’s short, or I hope they’re making them in adult sizes.
Update, Wed. 28 March: The Daily Ablution washes away the unsanitary pretense.
Used to be, in the olden days you could get a few unemployed to attend your protest by handing out a couple of bucks. In the developing nations you can still do that – and if there’s a G8 summit, you can get demonstrators from other countries just by providing transportation and perhaps a meal. Of course that doesn’t apply in France, where protesting is the national sport (and from what I’ve heard, more popular than sex and soccer) and people do it for free as a weekly family outing.
But there’s a new development:
The ever-enterprising and always well-organized Germans, in a grasp at entrepreneurship, have come up with the concept of professional protesters:
They refuse to rally for neo-Nazis, but as long as the price is right a new type of German mercenary will take to the streets and protest for you.
It’s not just any slouch that qualifies, it’s – to use Siggy’s words – GOOD LOOKING protesters:
Next to a black and white posed picture, Melanie lists her details from her jeans size to her shoe size and tells potential protest organisers that she is willing to be deployed up to 100km around Berlin.
So you can cast your demonstration according to height, age, size, and so on – even by shoe-size. I speculate that the professional protester might even accessorize his/her apparel according to the protest’s theme: love beads and mood rings for peace, kaffiyeh for Palestine, and so on. However, the casting is crucial.
Global warmers will probably prefer protesters with tiny-sized feet, say, men wearing shoes size 7 or smaller, women with size 5 shoes, as symbolic of a reduced carbon footprint. It’d probably end up being a demonstration of very short people, but oh-so-paradigmatic of the love of Gaia as its emission of carbon gasses would then be smaller.
But the high-quality protester doesn’t come cheap:
Six hours of Melanie bearing your banner or shouting your slogan will set you back 145 euros.
That’s about $180 per protester; $30/hr. Now you’re talking. A good protester agent should be able to keep 1/3 of that, saving their clients’ valuable time by taking care of the paperwork and providing a full range of well-qualified attractive protesters custom-cast for the special event, small feet and all, while not having do actually do any of the protesting herself.
And I won’t even ask for your shoe size unless it’s absolutely necessary.
greatest Republican of our time, we should revisit the crucial victory lessons from President Reagan. In all his campaigns for the California governorship and for the Presidency, Reagan demonstrated the timeless value of three essential political characteristics: clarity, cheerfulness and unity. If Republicans manage to emphasize and exemplify these traits they will win in 2008 and beyond and re-enforce their status as the nation’s majority party.
1. CLARITY. Throughout his public career, Reagan associated himself with a handful of simple but profound ideas: government isn’t the solution, it’s the problem; the people deserve lower taxes and less regulation; Communism must be defeated, not accommodated. In his public pronouncements he never varied from these core principles and he never worried about repeating himself, confident in the knowledge that the truth always sounds fresh and appropriate.
Twilight zone at the border.
Sunday June 3, 2007, is ICD 7: International Capitalism Day 2007 I’ve been celebrating all along but on that day I’ll celebrate even more (h/t Maria).
Pakistani Muslim couple tied up, stoned to death – on SUSPICION of committing adultery: the woman was 40, the man, 45. Atlas has more.
Hillary is resentful, but not at Bill. Me, I resent Hillary and all her nagging.
Bruce Kesler fisks NYT theater critic Patricia Cohen: Progressive Jewish Thought and the New Anti-Semitism. Methinks Pat’s looking for a spot on the op-ed page, like her predecessor. (h/t Larwyn)
CatHouse Chat asks Why don’t we let them decide?
Speaking of the troops, As for the married troops, they could still get homemade lemon squares.
In praise of oil, via Maria
This is the sunset of the “Age of Aquarius.” Was about time!
Don’t sign me up for one of these, thanks: The lunchtime facelift
A popular fast face-lift is called Sculptra, a 30-minute procedure involving a series of injections (a mix of poly-L-lactic acid material mixed with water) used to stimulate the growth of collagen and provide a gradual increase in skin thickness.
You call it a facelift, I call it a callus.
Now, I don’t know a thing about sports. And I certainly don’t know anything at all about football or soccer. So I’m completely amazed that a guy who wasn’t scoring in his last team has just signed a contract for a quarter of a billion bucks. What’s even more amazing is that the guy is referred to as a sex symbol. I kid you not. The TV anchors say, “the superstar and sex symbol” – I just heard one right now.
A sex symbol? He spends more on manicures than I – and I go for a manicure every week!
So it seems to me that the lesson in this is, have a really really good agent.
Even the obscene amount of money offered to pseudo-royal Beckham cannot tarnish my anticipation. After all, if Jack really wanted Beck’s money, all he’d have to do is show up and take it. Like candy from a baby. And he wouldn’t even need a hacksaw.
And I bet Sir Becks doesn’t even own a pair of Jack Bauer pajamas
Did she say, Sir Becks? He was knighted?
Get me that agent – I want to be a Dame!
Here’s a quick 24 round-up:
24 facts about ’24’
James Cromwell will appear on season six as Jack Bauer’s father. Sorry, Donald. Guess you weren’t believable enough to play Jack’s dad.
Via Ace, Locust and Honey has the Star Wars Silent Movie:
I wish I could play the piano like that. It’d make Scarlatti a cinch – I stopped playing for a year and now I’m back to playing at the equivalent of 3rd grade level.
Via CalTechGirl brings us the “door-to-door Australian atheist goes to Utah” video:
Trusting your instincts may help you to make better decisions than thinking hard, a study suggests. Not being a very thorough thiker, I’m glad to hear that.
Accessorize, accessorize: Taser launches ‘stylish’ stun gun
US stun gun maker Taser is unveiling a sleeker version of its controversial weapon aimed at safety and fashion conscious members of the public.
Available in pink, blue, silver and black, the gun fits into a handbag like a mobile phone. It will be launched at a Las Vegas electronics fair on Monday.
You can order one here for $349.99 (I like the titanium because it goes well with my cell phone) and extra for accessories.
Update: If I drove this, I’d end up under a truck.
I’ve always wanted to be a Dame, but would have to either marry a Brit or become a British sitizen, neither of which is very likely. However, with the help of a mortgage banker, I might have a chance to be Princess of Sealand.