I kid you not.

It’s not enough that young women are pressured to have an orgasm every time they have intercourse; to have sex with anyone they feel like while avoiding pregnancy unless they really really want it; and once pregnant, to examine and exult (as if they were the first and only woman on earth to ever have a child) in every moment of what honestly is a stressful experience that involves a fair amount of discomfort (which thank goodness does lead to a wonderful outcome – a baby)’ to go through childbirth without medication, and to breasfeed whether they want to or can’t’ now some yutz comes out and wants women to have an orgasm during childbirth.

Look, this is too much.

I’m sure someone must have had an orgasm while passing a pineapple, too. Or perhaps a kidney stone.

Certainly, childbirth is the most binding experience a couple can possibly share. A considerate and supportive husband can and will do a lot of things to ease the wife’s discomfort during labor. In a sense, it is a spiritual experience, too. But take my word for it, having a fully formed, seven and a half pound, twenty-two inch human being squeeze out of a narrow opening doesn’t happen without pain. That’s just the way it is.

At least the people who came up with this doozy admit it’s not for everybody:

“I hope women watching and men watching don’t feel that what we’re saying is every woman should have an orgasmic birth.”

Back in the olden days weddings used to be about the couple and now they’re all about the bride. The husband-to-be’s opinions on how many guests, how formal, etc. were taken into consideration because it was their wedding; now, brides-to-be contort themselves trying to outdo each other in locales, settings, gowns, flowers, name it, because the wedding is all about her.

As if our culture of narcissism didn’t have enough “stuff” to feed on, now the childbirth is going to be all about the mother’s orgasm. Dr Melissa points out,

And another thing, I recognize that the birth canal has multifaceted uses, still, I can’t help but to think that this orgasm business is just one more way to sexualize, well, everything. The birthing isn’t about having a healthy baby or a woman surrendering to the primal forces of motherhood. Oh no! It’s selfish and all about a peak experience, man. It’s the narcissism-part of the hippie thing that bugs me.

Motherhood isn’t entirely about self-sacrifice, but giving birth is pretty darn self-sacrificial. Your body isn’t your own. And out of the experience comes an entirely new creature. And yes, some women have babies to be the center of attention and make it all about themselves. They are annoying. They don’t need encouragement. This orgasm business will just add fuel to the self-obsessed culture. It will also delude women into thinking that it’s a likely outcome. Silly-headed women who believe this will often end up with C-sections because they have such inane expectations of birth. It’s called labor for a reason. Birthing is hard work.

Amen to that.

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