Fausta's Blog

American and Latin American Politics, Society, and Culture

April 9, 2013 By Fausta

And now, the healthy divas

Or, more to the point, healthy narcissists, if you can find them,

Why Divas Need Make No Apology
Demanding People Get a Bad Rap, But Behind the Tantrums and the Drama Lie Lessons in Success

“Having a healthy diva around brings a lot of sparkle,” says Meredith Fuller, an Australia-based psychologist. “They make your world more interesting and pleasurable because you can bask in their spotlight with them.”

Fuller has written a book, Working with Bitches: Identify the Eight Types of Office Mean Girls and Rise Above Workplace Nastiness, and is blogging about the Screamer type, which must be in a circle of hell Dante didn’t get to – Virgil probably thought better to avoid it. Indeed,

It is a waste of time to have women caught up in bitching. She wonders why organisations would allow this behaviour.

But back to the healthy divas, Fuller says,

What separates a healthy diva from an unhealthy diva is this: Healthy divas stand up for others, not just themselves, says Ms. Fuller, author of a recent book about overcoming “mean girls” and nastiness at the office. “They are confident of their abilities and contributions, and they love recognition—but they are happy to give credit to others, too.”

All divas are talented and feel a sense of entitlement.

The issue here is, have you ever met a self-proclaimed “diva” who wasn’t a conceited schmuck, not matter how talented?

The article even has a quiz,

Diva Behavior

Divas are, by definition, high-maintenance star performers. But some are healthier than others, because they are self-aware and willing to share the spotlight. Psychologist Meredith Fuller provided some scenarios to test your ability to tell the difference. Identify which of the two behaviors in each question is healthier. Answers at bottom.

1. Sticking to Their Guns

a. The diva makes various demands about food or working conditions – only to make more demands after the initial demands are met.

b. The diva has specific, but reasonable, demands about working conditions and rarely waivers from them.

2. Accepting Accolades

a. The diva relishes recognition, awards and promotions and if allowed will speak eloquently about how to achieve a dream.

b. The diva relishes recognition, will speak eloquently—and shares credit and acknowledges others’ contributions.

3. Surrounded by Strangers

a. The diva doesn’t really care who is present and will be as demanding with one close colleague as with a room full of people.

b. The diva is most likely to be demanding and inflexible when there are people around, especially those who aren’t friends or colleagues.

4. Trials and Tribulations

a. The diva loves to talk about him- or herself, especially by talking about accomplishments and the difficulties he or she has overcome.

b. The diva loves to talk about him- or herself, especially by telling stories that are engaging but sometimes cast him- or herself in a self-deprecating light.

5. Diva Mode

a. The diva often shifts into diva mode, in which he or she clearly states her requirements, often in an uncomfortably direct manner.

b. The diva often shifts into diva mode, in which he or she expresses displeasure and rants, while co-workers hover and try to figure out what to do.

6. Creative Vision

a. The diva insists on pursuing his or her own creative ideas and vision, but sometimes the ideas fizzle out and then the diva drops them.

b. The diva insists on pursuing his or her own creative ideas and vision and in the vast majority of instances brings the vision to fruition.

Check out the answers. Commenter Kerry Fitzpatrick cuts to the chase, though,

No thanks, Elizabeth. I would never hire or date a “diva”. A professional woman willing to take responsibility and offer her ideas and suggestions? I hired them decades ago. An Intelligent, polite but firm, independent woman who expects to be treated as an equal ? That’s the woman in my personal life now.

Be a star performer, and cut out the tantrums and the high maintenance crap. Be polite. Be professional. Treat people with consideration and respect.

You’re an adult, not a petulant child, fer cryin’ out loud.

And, as for the diva in the video, don’t travel to Cuba.

Share

Filed Under: books, Fausta's blog, relationships, women Tagged With: work

May 13, 2010 By Fausta

The cougar longevity plan?

Marrying a younger man increases a woman’s mortality rate
Women who are seven to nine years older than their husbands have a 20% higher mortality rate than if they were the same age

According to Drefahl’s report in the journal Demography, a man who is between seven and nine years older than his wife has an 11% lower mortality rate than a man whose wife is the same age as him. However, a woman who is between seven and nine years older than her husband has a 20% greater mortality rate than if she were with a man the same age.

The article includes a nice graph,


Women marrying a partner seven to nine years younger increase their relative mortality risk by 20% compared with couples where both are the same age. But the relative mortality risk of a husband who is seven to nine years older is reduced by 11%. Source: Sven Drefahl

Considering that the research was done in Germany, does that apply to people in other countries?

Share

Filed Under: men and women, relationships Tagged With: Fausta's blog

May 13, 2010 By Fausta

The cougar longevity plan?

Marrying a younger man increases a woman’s mortality rate
Women who are seven to nine years older than their husbands have a 20% higher mortality rate than if they were the same age

According to Drefahl’s report in the journal Demography, a man who is between seven and nine years older than his wife has an 11% lower mortality rate than a man whose wife is the same age as him. However, a woman who is between seven and nine years older than her husband has a 20% greater mortality rate than if she were with a man the same age.

The article includes a nice graph,


Women marrying a partner seven to nine years younger increase their relative mortality risk by 20% compared with couples where both are the same age. But the relative mortality risk of a husband who is seven to nine years older is reduced by 11%. Source: Sven Drefahl

Considering that the research was done in Germany, does that apply to people in other countries?

20289
Share

Filed Under: men and women, relationships Tagged With: Fausta's blog

April 15, 2010 By Fausta

Keeping score

Mr Bingley 1.

Roissy 0.

Share

Filed Under: humor, men and women, relationships Tagged With: Fausta's blog

March 9, 2010 By Fausta

Would you rent a friend?

Fox News was talking about this today,
Lonely in Las Vegas: Web site lets strangers rent a friend

There are 108,000 friends for rent on RentAFriend, site founder Scott Rosenbaum says. It costs nothing to list yourself for hire.

It costs $24.95 a month, however, to shop for friends. There are currently 1,200 paying members, Rosenbaum says. The site is 5 months old.

The tough part about having friends is being a friend. Maybe that’s why so many people don’t have friends.

Resourceful college students in trouble have found a use for the service:

And three college kids, independently, have used RentAFriend to hire fake parents. Adults they paid to come to school, furrow their brows and nod meaningfully while school administrators explained their children had been caught drinking on campus.

But that aside, if you are that lonely, new to an area, and need a friend for a few hours, would you rent a friend?

Share

Filed Under: relationships Tagged With: Fausta's blog, Rent a Friend

February 15, 2010 By Fausta

Starting the week with something different:

Gerard’s Notes on Love and Death

Love frightens me because, unlike death, love cannot be understood. Love can only be given, gotten, taken or dropped. Like death, it would seem that, once discovered, there’s no end to it — or, to take Hemingway’s point of view, no good end to it since one way or another death will trump love — in this world at least.

Go read the whole prose poem.

There will be no podcast this morning. I spent the day under the weather yesterday and haven’t had time to prepare. Your patience is appreciated.

Share

Filed Under: men and women, passion, relationships Tagged With: Fausta's blog, Gerard Vanderleun

January 5, 2010 By Fausta

France passes “anti-psychological violence” law. Will it apply to women, too?

Via Memeorandum, Shouting at your wife may get you a criminal record in France

Under a new law, France is to become the first country in the world to ban ‘ psychological violence’ within marriage.

The law would apply to cohabiting couples and to both men and women.

It would cover men who shout at their wives and women who hurl abuse at their husbands – although it was not clear last night if nagging would be viewed as breaking the law.

The law is expected to cover every kind of insult including repeated rude remarks about a partner’s appearance, false allegations of infidelity and threats of physical violence.

While it shouldn’t be the role of government to intervene in this, and the law looks unenforceable to my skeptical eyes (every kind of insult? Like, “your mother wears combat boots”?), let’s hope they enforce it against women. However, it’s unlikely it’ll be enforced against women perpetrators: The Express reports,

The law is aimed at protecting women who suffer the worst attacks of this kind, ranging from comments about their appearance to threats of violence.

While most reported domestic violence is inflicted by men against women, my educated guess going by experience is that the worst inflictors of psychological abuse are women – women who mock their men in public, and who cut them down at every opportunity they have, whether in the company of strangers or in private.

Share

Filed Under: crime, France, marriage, men and women, relationships Tagged With: Fausta's blog

December 20, 2009 By Fausta

Can you judge a book by its cover?

Yes, at least according to this study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin,

physical appearance may play a more important role in personality judgment than previously thought. In addition, our comparison of judgments in the standardized and spontaneous conditions provides the first direct evidence that although some accuracy is possible even without nonverbal expressive aspects of appearance, more traits can be detected and judgments are generally more accurate when nonverbal expressive behavior is available. Overall, the level and breadth of accuracy achieved underline the pervasiveness of personality. As John Irving’s narrator stated, “Things often are as they appear.”

Or, in plain English, if someone looks creepy, odds are they are.

(Special thanks to the friend who sent me the link.)

Share

Filed Under: men and women, relationships Tagged With: Fausta's blog

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • …
  • 8
  • Next Page »
Tweets by @Fausta
retirees_raise-2015_300x250

Pages

  • About
  • Email

Meta

  • Register
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org

Previous Posts

  • Mrs. Maisel goes full Alinsky on Mrs. Schlafly
  • Venezuela: Did the Minister of Defense back out at the last minute?
  • You need to unfriend me
  • Go ahead and Kiss the Girl, if you dare
  • Ashamed

Recent Comments

  • John on Mrs. Maisel goes full Alinsky on Mrs. Schlafly
  • Today’s hot topics: Democrats’ collusion shift, tax-return rift, Venezuela drift, and more! – PoliticalWitchDoctor.com on Venezuela: Did the Minister of Defense back out at the last minute?
  • Today’s hot topics: Democrats’ collusion shift, tax-return rift, Venezuela drift, and more! - AmericanTruthToday on Venezuela: Did the Minister of Defense back out at the last minute?
  • Did Venezuela’s Minister of Defense Back Out At The Last Minute? on Venezuela: Did the Minister of Defense back out at the last minute?
  • Roseanne Not Back, Khan not Invited, Operaman’s back, Jobs back, Fausta’s back (but not here yet) Thoughts under the fedora – Da Tech Guy Blog on Venezuela: Did the Minister of Defense back out at the last minute?

Archives

  • 2019
    • December 2019
    • May 2019
    • January 2019
  • 2018
    • December 2018
    • October 2018
    • July 2018
    • June 2018
    • April 2018
    • March 2018
    • February 2018
    • January 2018
  • 2017
    • December 2017
    • November 2017
    • October 2017
    • September 2017
    • August 2017
    • July 2017
    • June 2017
    • May 2017
    • April 2017
    • March 2017
    • February 2017
    • January 2017
  • 2016
    • December 2016
    • November 2016
    • October 2016
    • September 2016
    • August 2016
    • July 2016
    • June 2016
    • May 2016
    • April 2016
    • March 2016
    • February 2016
    • January 2016
  • 2015
    • December 2015
    • November 2015
    • October 2015
    • September 2015
    • August 2015
    • July 2015
    • June 2015
    • May 2015
    • April 2015
    • March 2015
    • February 2015
    • January 2015
  • 2014
    • December 2014
    • November 2014
    • October 2014
    • September 2014
    • August 2014
    • July 2014
    • June 2014
    • May 2014
    • April 2014
    • March 2014
    • February 2014
    • January 2014
  • 2013
    • December 2013
    • November 2013
    • October 2013
    • September 2013
    • August 2013
    • July 2013
    • June 2013
    • May 2013
    • April 2013
    • March 2013
    • February 2013
    • January 2013
  • 2012
    • December 2012
    • November 2012
    • October 2012
    • September 2012
    • August 2012
    • July 2012
    • June 2012
    • May 2012
    • April 2012
    • March 2012
    • February 2012
    • January 2012
  • 2011
    • December 2011
    • November 2011
    • October 2011
    • September 2011
    • August 2011
    • July 2011
    • June 2011
    • May 2011
    • April 2011
    • March 2011
    • February 2011
    • January 2011
  • 2010
    • December 2010
    • November 2010
    • October 2010
    • September 2010
    • August 2010
    • July 2010
    • June 2010
    • May 2010
    • April 2010
    • March 2010
    • February 2010
    • January 2010
  • 2009
    • December 2009
    • November 2009
    • October 2009
    • September 2009
    • August 2009
    • July 2009
    • June 2009
    • May 2009
    • April 2009
    • March 2009
    • February 2009
    • January 2009
  • 2008
    • December 2008
    • November 2008
    • October 2008
    • September 2008
    • August 2008
    • July 2008
    • June 2008
    • May 2008
    • April 2008
    • March 2008
    • February 2008
    • January 2008
  • 2007
    • December 2007
    • November 2007
    • October 2007
    • September 2007
    • August 2007
    • July 2007
    • June 2007
    • May 2007
    • April 2007
    • March 2007
    • February 2007
    • January 2007
  • 2006
    • December 2006
    • November 2006
    • October 2006
    • September 2006
    • August 2006
    • July 2006
    • June 2006
    • May 2006
    • April 2006
    • March 2006
    • February 2006
    • January 2006
  • 2005
    • December 2005
    • November 2005
    • October 2005
    • September 2005
    • August 2005
    • July 2005
    • June 2005
    • May 2005
    • April 2005
    • March 2005
    • February 2005
    • January 2005
  • 2004
    • December 2004
    • November 2004
    • October 2004
    • September 2004
    • August 2004
    • July 2004
    • June 2004
    • May 2004
    • April 2004
    • March 2004
Content Copyright Fausta's Blog

Site Developed and Managed by 300m.com