“I just want to understand this, sir. Every time a rug is micturated upon in this fair city, I have to compensate the owner?”

Something out of The Big Lebowski, math department version,
Professor charged with peeing on colleague’s door

The Los Angeles Times says Petrov was captured on videotape urinating on the door of another professor’s office on the San Fernando Valley campus. School officials had rigged the camera after discovering puddles of what they thought was urine at the professor’s door.

Can’t wait for the YouTube.