In order to “save the earth” apparently we must all give up basic sanitation.

Last year it was the Manhattan couple that stopped using toilet paper. Ugh.

This year it’s the fool feeling guilty about taking hot showers. After deluging us with statistics about how wasteful it is to run hot water, she advises us to “take a shower if you need it.”

Listen to me, and listen to me carefully:

As you have noticed, I’ve taken up tango recently, and there is nothing more unpleasant than to come in close contact with someone who has not showered. I even suggested that one of the organizers post one of those signs they have by public swimming pools that say “SHOWER BEFORE YOU ENTER.” You can offer people mints and gum for bad breath, but when you’re on the dance floor you can’t pull a soapy washcloth out of thin air and wash down someone who hasn’t showered. Worse yet, after you’re done dancing with that person, your nostrils hang on to the odor.

We live in the most technologically advanced society in the history of mankind. I urge you to please avail yourself of the most efficient water heater you can afford, and by all means, take a nice hot shower.

Of course this trend towards skimping on basic sanitation goes well with people who think Cuba is a paradise. After all, there is no toilet paper in Cuba (h/t Babalu), and the average person does not have the financial means to own and maintain an efficient water heater. The chronic power shortages don’t help, either.

Living in green misery and living in a totalitarian society might go hand-in-hand. Take advantage and enjoy the benefits of a free capitalist society while you can, and shower on.

Your dance partner will thank you.

Now if you will excuse me I’ll go try to get some relief from this cold that’s making me miserable and take a hot shower.