Fausta's Blog

American and Latin American Politics, Society, and Culture

July 23, 2009 By Fausta

Fly standing, my a**, part 2

Remember this?

I posted about this in April, 2006. The NYT article was titled Ready for takeoff? Even if it’s standing room? Back then the airlines involved vigorously denied that they were considering doing away with seats.

Well, three years later, the story is baaack:
Would You Stand on Short Flights if It Meant Cheaper Fares?

According to Marketwatch.com: A spokesman for Ryanair, Stephen McNamara, said the airline is looking to replace traditional seats with “vertical ones,” which on a typical flight would allow between 50 and 60 additional passengers.

The vertical seats

Oxymoron – Dude, if vertical, it’s not a seat!

sound like something you might find in an amusement park:

I’m not amused

Mr. McNamara said the airline envisages having the passengers supported and restrained,

Why does that bring to mind horror movies involving insane asylums?

and not simply holding a rail,

The screaming, floating strap hangers wouldn’t look so good to the rest of the passengers?

so they could handle turbulence or an emergency landing safely, Steve Gelsi reports.

Or perhaps the airline wants you to be on the misericord,

Helmsley Misericord seats St Aelred's Chapel

so you pray for mercy on your soul during a rough flight?

Ryanair would need approval both from U.S. and European Union authorities, as well as Boeing, which makes its aircraft. Mr. McNamara said it could take three years before they could even pilot the program, and then additional time to launch it.

Give the sadists enough time, and they’ll push it through, possibly even with a governmental bailout.

The thing is, once an arline reduces travel room, it later becomes a trend to all the airlines. When air travel first started, passengers were treated well, which later became first class (which is disappearing, fast), and now we’re all sardines in coach.

BUT

Yes, it CAN get worse!

Another controversial idea -– charging for toilet use on flights –- is “still under consideration,” according to Mr. McNamara.

There you are, catapulted into the upper atmosphere in an aluminum tube and they’re charging you to use the toilet.

What other humiliation will they think of next? Dare I ask?

Speaking of billing, how about allowing passengers to bill airlines for every minute of delays, at the passengers’ hourly wage rate, chums?

————————————————

I’ll be joining Jane and other friends at BlogHer09 later today. Blogging will take second place to socializing and fun.

bh09-125-uncensored

No, we didn’t have to stand through a flight to get here, perish the thought.

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Filed Under: BlogHer08, Scheiss Weekly, tourism, travel Tagged With: BlogHer09, Fausta's blog

Comments

  1. newton says

    July 23, 2009 at 12:21 pm

    Yeah, let’s see if they can pull that out. Why don’t they try it on the flights that use possibly the most profitable route in the USA?

    You know the one that I’m talking about – San Juan to JFK… and vice-versa…

    No self-respecting boricua would accept that!

  2. Pat Patterson says

    July 23, 2009 at 1:40 pm

    “Mr. McNamara said the airline envisages having the passengers supported and restrained…” Jeez, that sounds an awful lot like being crucified. I can only hope travelers don’t have to wear loin cloths and get stabbed in the side with a spear to keep them quiet.

  3. wildman says

    July 23, 2009 at 2:13 pm

    I would prefer to be strapped to the wing or perhaps in baggage.

  4. steveegg says

    July 23, 2009 at 4:33 pm

    I can see a few problems with this:

    – Where will the carry-on luggage be stowed? Clearance to the overhead bins is something less than 5″5′ (trust me on this one), and the elimination of under-seat stowage will end that.

    – Things will quickly get a wee bit uncomfortable for us guys with the roller-coaster backboards.

    – Speaking of those “seats”, they aren’t exactly skirt-friendly either, further limiting their application.

    – Back to luggage, more people equals more weight equals less cargo-carrying capacity.

    There’s more, but I don’t want to monopolize the comments.

  5. Nolanimrod says

    July 23, 2009 at 8:27 pm

    Flying standing can be fun. Once at Midway I got on a plane, the plane left the gate and started taxiing, and I discovered there wasn’t a seat available. By this time everybody’s all buttoned-up and a flight attendant told me to sit down and I asked her where.

    I ended up in one of the little jump seats flight attendants sit on at the rear of the plane.

    But it turned out that one of the guys in the seats in front of me was going to New Orleans for a bachelor party and the other guys with him were
    a. members of the wedding party, and
    b. employees of the airline I was on.

    Right next to my little jumpseat was one of those tubs they stuff those hang-up suit bags in, only it was full of ice and those delightful little bottles of hootch.

    All-in-all the most enjoyable and the most comfortable flight I have ever taken, and that includes a few in first class. Plus, in that little jumpset there is no one next to you.

  6. safariman says

    July 23, 2009 at 11:41 pm

    Well, I’m very tall. Economy is torture when the person in front TRIES to put their seat back. I can’t afford higher class; I always dream of it, but then when I look at prices…

    Well, this could hardly be worse than Economy travel!

  7. Mr. Bingley says

    July 24, 2009 at 7:35 am

    We could start Hannibal Lechter Airlines…

  8. GM Roper says

    July 24, 2009 at 7:48 am

    Have fun at BlogHer! But be sure not to stand around, especially on airlines.

  9. p says

    July 24, 2009 at 5:06 pm

    Don’t worry, the disabled advocates will squash this one toot sweet.

  10. mojo says

    July 28, 2009 at 3:19 pm

    Hey – if the pilot gets to sit down, so do I.

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