So I’m sitting at the DMV on Route 1 in Lawrenceville reading the paper when I come across this, which is a Russian “expert’s” scenario for the USA:
Yes, you read it right. In two years New Jersey will be part of the Atlantic America and possibly part of the European Union. Which means that I’ll have to be back in line at the DMV for a new license.
The guy who came up with this is Igor Panarin,
Prof. Panarin, 50 years old, is not a fringe figure. A former KGB analyst, he is dean of the Russian Foreign Ministry’s academy for future diplomats. He is invited to Kremlin receptions, lectures students, publishes books, and appears in the media as an expert on U.S.-Russia relations.
Panarin’s Fantasyland will have Alaska going back to Russian ownership, which means Tina Fey will really be seeing Alaska from her back yard.
California will be part of China while Mexico will take over the Texas Republic, expanding the culinary possibilities.
Armed with a Powerpoint presentation in his laptop, Panarin’s become quite the rage:
“When I pushed the button on my computer and the map of the United States disintegrated, hundreds of people cried out in surprise,” he remembers. He says most in the audience were skeptical. “They didn’t believe me.”
We’ll be here when 2010 rolls along. In the meantime, here’s my music theme suggestion for Mr. Panarin’s slide show
Back in 1981 someone was predicting that New York City would become a maximum security prison by 1997, only that back then it was a Hollywood screenwriter, not a Russian expert. While I’m writing this post, my son reminds me that in the 1999 Wild Wild West Dr. Loveless was going to split the US, return the various parts to their “original” owners, and keep a bit for himself. Kind of like Panarin’s Fantasyland.
Maybe when they make a movie about Panarin, Kenneth Brannagh will play him; he’s even learned his lines before:
We may have lost the war, but we haven’t lost our sense of humor. Even when we lose a lung, a spleen, a bladder, thirty-five feet of small intestine, two legs, and our ability to reproduce all in the name of the south, do we EVER LOSE OUR SENSE OF HUMOR?