Larwyn sent this link, by TigerHawk: Message to Rupert: Marry Rachel now
If Rupert does not propose to Rachel right now, he’s an idiot*.
TigerHawk is referring to Rachel Lucas’s post, Her husband is a lucky man, who was reading Dr. Helen and came across this article:
Chores for two: Why men don’t pitch in
Leslie Bennetts explores the role men play in housework and childrearing.
To say that Leslie Bennetts is a bitch would be an understatement. The underlying contempt and lack of respect this woman holds against her second husband is spelled out for all to see. Read
Yes, dear readers, it’s true: Maintaining some semblance of parity in your marriage requires you to deploy the same kinds of nasty tactics you swore you would never stoop to as a parent but nonetheless found yourself using the minute you actually had a kid. Bribery and punishment work; so do yelling and complaining. Threats are also effective, as long as everyone knows you mean business. With husbands, tender blandishments and nooky are particularly useful, as is the withholding of the aforementioned.
Bennetts goes on,
So why aren’t women demanding something closer to parity? While many are resigned to seething in silence, the stakes are far higher than they seem to realize. When wives permit their husbands to shirk a fair share of the homemaking and parenting, not only do they themselves suffer, but chances are good that they’re also sentencing their children to a similar fate. When you have kids, everything you do teaches them how to live their own lives when they grow up. Unfortunately, all too many women are still teaching their children that “woman is the nigger of the world,” as John Lennon and Yoko Ono put it so memorably in a song lyric years ago.
Oh, yeah, John and Yoko. Didn’t they also say,
Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
Maybe if Leslie gave up all her posessions she’d have no housework chores. Or, if her work is so valuable that her pay justifies her agony, why not hire a cleaning service to come once or twice a week and clean the house?
But I digress. Bennetts goes on:
And what too many fathers teach their sons and daughters is that men can get away with dumping the scut work on their wives, and that women will grit their teeth and put up with it.
Dr Helen’s advice is sensible:
I have some advice for your long suffering husband, Jeremy. Next time you need something fixed around the house, your wife needs help lifting something, or you need a blowjob, resort to yelling and complaining. Threats are also effective, as long as she knows you mean business. Huff and puff and complain to all of your friends about her inadequacies and let the world know what a loser she is. Then crow about your newfound equality. Finally, call yourself a hero and write a lousy piece for Men’s Health or some other men’s magazine about your loser of a wife and see how your married life takes off after that. For deep down, even if Jeremy won’t admit it, my guess is, just like the women mentioned in the article, he is seething inside. It’s no wonder he won’t scrub toilets for this woman.
Francis Porretto, commenting at Dr Helen’s, said,
Leslie Bennetts has undertaken the gender-war feminists’ practice of “defining oppression down.” She’s not the first, nor is her response to “oppression” original, but she does appear to be the anchor woman on the “nasty” end of the curve.
I wonder if the idea of hiring someone to do the heavy cleaning has occurred to her. Or might that be a red herring? Might her problem simply be a need to exercise power over her husband — the sort of domineering that causes men to leave their wives, thinking “solitude in celibacy would be better than this” –?
My advice is rather more drastic:
I have stated before in this blog that I believe that couples with underage children should not divorce except in cases of abuse (infidelity can be a form of abuse, by the way). The Bennetts article is abuse, simply put by an abusive woman against her husband, in a public venue for all to see.
Jeremy, get a divorce and hire a cleaning service.
And regain some peace in your life.
(and don’t register at Perfect Match, which sponsored the article!)
UPDATE
The Anchoress: My husband is a gem, a jewel!
I suspect that when The Vagina Monologues comes to town this deeply victimized woman clamors to audition as the Special Guest Vagina: the one made of steel wool that shreds the penis and then toot-toots like a claxon horn in Rome.
Does she represent the other dimension that women are supposed to bring to management offices and politics–you know the side that excells at relationships and building networks? These bitter b—-es do not represent me, and I resent them for pretending to. Perhaps her problem is the lack of meaning in her paid job, which she is desperately trying to cover up by manipulating and bullying her husband. A person who is personally fulfilled doesn’t need to be a tyrant.
expat
Amen to that, Expat!
Oh great, I finally banish the image of John (with his embellishment) and Yoko on the cover of Two Virgins(?) and here it all comes back. Thanks a bunch(Aw, jeez another Freudian slip).
Sheesh, Pat, I had totally forgotten that!