I’m opening a new category today: “It’ll never happen”.
This category will include quotes that will never, ever cross the lips of a straight married man speaking to his wife.
The first two:
“I know what we can do next: Let’s take you shoe shopping!”
“Is that the only store we’re going to?”
Feel free to add your own (and keep it clean).
“You were much prettier when you were younger.”
Obviously the Baron values his life.
“Sure, I’d LOVE to go to the Ice Capades!”
“I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again- indigo is YOUR color!!”
“You know, we’d have a lot more fun if we brought your mother along”
“Sweety, would you please hold the TV remote?”
“Wow- those Manolo’s really are worth the money!”
“You know, I have idea. Why not clean out the garage and turn it into a craft center. After we set that up, we could get a coordinated garage storage system, maybe in the that pale aubergine color you like so much.”
“Can we talk? You really don’t listen to me anymore and that’s starting to hurt my feelings.”
“You know, Oprah said….”
“I don’t care what Mary says about Jenny Craig. She’s still chunky.”
Hmmm… Siggy shares my dislike of ice skating, crafts, and Oprah….
And don’t miss the comments section!
A gentleman who doesn’t want to be named emailed,
Hon, why don’t you watch some more HGTV?
Those words will never be uttered at casa de Fausta.
“Yes, I know there’s lipstick on my collar, dear. What do you think of the shade?”
“You know, you really don’t have enough shoes. There’s a sale at Nordstrom‘s just now. Busy?”
“If you need more closet space, we can always convert the garage. I don’t really need all those power tools.”
(In reply to the most annoying question my wife asks me — and she asks it repeatedly) “For dinner? How about gazpacho, leeks vinaigrette with shrimp, marinated zucchini, a bottle of Cotes du Rhone Rouge ’59, and for dessert maybe an orange mousse?”
Keep them coming!