The Anchoress sends the meme, So you know you have reached middle age when… …?
You know you have reached middle age when:
1. You’re auditing a lecture at PU and you realize you’re old enough to be a parent of undergrads . . . and of a graduate student or two.
2. You’re shopping for eyeglass frames and the clerk asks if it’s for your bifocals.
3. You drop The Husband off for his knee surgery at the surgicenter and the receptionist for the plastic surgeons asks “Are you having a little work done today?”
4. You buy a pair of boots because they look “so Emma Peel” and the salesclerk has not the vaguest idea what you’re talking about.
5. You wore miniskirts when they first came out. And platform shoes, which made your legs look like sticks on bricks.
6. The first TV set you bought with your own pay didn’t have a remote. At least it was color TV.
7. You had a crush on Alan Bates when you were a kid. You still have a crush on Alan Bates.
8. Kids ask you if you went to Woodstock in the Summer of Love. You rearrange your face into a terse smile and pointedly yet politely say you weren’t old enough to have gone without your parents.
9. Your younger sibling has grey hair and adult children.
10. The AARP’s sending you junk mail. Your doctor retires and your new doctor looks like Dougie Houser.
You’re old enough to remember Dougie Houser.
11. You once rented a Ford Pinto.
12. You know what Glenn‘s talking about.
13. Speaking of the Addams, when you were a kid you couldn’t wait to be old enough to wear red lipstick and matching nail polish like Morticia.
14. Audrey Hepburn’s your fashion icon and you wish Givenchy (the original) was still designing.
You’re wearing the same Diane Von Furstenberg dresses your mother wore decades ago while you think about this.
15. When you were growing up flip-flops were only for the shower.
Maybe I’ll tag Linda. If she doesn’t kill me, that is.