Take no Spanish Prisoners, Suha
The scam is known as ‘The Spanish Prisoner’ con,

The Nigerian Scam has been emptying the pockets of victims for decades — first through letters, then with faxes, and now via e-mail. In its earliest incarnation — which dates to the 1920s — it was known as ‘The Spanish Prisoner’ con. In that long-ago version, businessmen were contacted by someone trying to smuggle the scion of a wealthy family out of a prison in Spain. But of course the wealthy family would shower with riches those who helped secure the release of the boy. Those who were suckered into this paid for one failed rescue attempt after another, with the fictitious prisoner continuing to languish in his non-existent dungeon, always just one more bribe, one more scheme, one more try, away from being released.

Well, my email has been filled with one variation or another of this, but yesterday’s got my attention. It was from Suha. Yes, that Suha! Here’s the text of the email, for your edification

Dear Friend,

Friend?

This mail may not be surprising to you if you have been following current events in the international media with reference to the Middle East and Palestine in particular.

I am Mrs. SUHA ARAFAT, the wife of YASSER ARAFAT, the Palestinian leader who died recently in Paris.

The widow, you mean?

Since his death and even prior to the announcement, I have been thrown into a state of antagonism, confusion, humiliation, frustration and hopelessness by the present leadership of the Palestinian Liberation Organization and the new Prime Minister. I have even been subjected to physical and psychological torture. As a widow that is so traumatized, I have lost confidence with everybody in the country at the moment.

You must have heard over the media reports and the Internet on the discovery of some fund in my husband secret bank account and companies and the allegations of some huge sums of money deposited by my husband in my name of which I have refuses to disclose or give up to the corrupt Palestine Government. In fact the total sum allegedly discovered by the Government so far is in the tune of about $6.5 Billion Dollars. And they are not relenting on their effort to make me poor for life. As you know, the Moslem community has no regards for woman, more importantly when the woman is from a christian background, hence my desire for a foreign assistance.

I have deposited the sum of 21 million dollars with a Financial firm in Europe whose name is withheld for now until we open communication. I shall be grateful if you
could receive this fund into your bank account for safe keeping and any Investment opportunity. This arrangement will be known to you and I alone

Not quite.

and all our correspondence should be strictly on email alone because our government has tapped all my lines and are monitoring all my moves.

In view of the above, if you are willing to assist for our mutual benefits, we will have to negotiate on your Percentage share of the $21,000,000 that will be kept
in your position for a while and invested in your name for my trust pending when my Daughter, Zahwa, will come off age and take full responsibility of her Family
Estate/inheritance. Please note that this is a golden opportunity that comes once in life time and more so, if you are honest, I am going to entrust more funds in your care as this is one of the legacy we keep for our children.

In case you don’t accept please do not let me out to the security and international media as I am giving you this information in total trust and confidence I will
greatly appreciate if you accept my proposal in good faith.
Please expedite action.
Yours sincerely,

Mrs. Suha Arafat

Sorry, Suha, we won’t be having tea at the Hotel Bristol any time soon, but maybe you should wait until the will’s out of probate before you start talking money.

Curiously, on the same day I received an invitation for a $1,000/plate fundraiser. Won’t be attending that, either.