Caligula‘s horse

Notoriously absurd traditions . . . such as the story that he intended to give a consulship to his favorite horse Incitatus no doubt originated from his continual stream of jokes. Probably he remarked that Incitatus would do the job as well as most of the recent incumbents; and meanwhile he ordered silence in the entire neighborhood, to prevent the horse from being disturbed” (The Twelve Caesars, [New York: Scribner, 1975], 113)

Here in the Township many of the voters would probably agree that that Incitatus would do the job as well as most of the Township Committee incumbents. At least Incitatus would respect keeping down the noise pollution.

The Township Commitee meets in a Most Expensive building, designed to the highest standards of luxury. The meeting room is two stories high (yet there isn’t enough office space in the municipal building to house all the municipal offices), with state-of-the-art electronic systems (video & audio), acoustics and upholstery. The Council sits on a raised podium with a two-story-high background of exquisite marble tile designed to vaguely resemble — depending on your mood, but in any case dramatic enough to be worthy of Cecil B. DeMille — either the Temple of Dendur or Grauman’s Chinese. From there the Council meets with experts on traffic, trees, school and bicycle committees, sound pollution, and the Borough, on how to change entire neighborhoods without having to notify the residents of those very neighborhoods — because the letter of the law doesn’t force them to meet with the neighbors who’d have to pay for it*. (* Clarification: the Council is not required to include the public until the Council’s voting on an issue). Particularly affected are middle-income neighborhoods. While I loathe to see politics as class struggle, it is undeniable to ignore the issue in this town: the middle-income don’t count.

A Birch avenue resident describes their deep frustration

We are outraged at the myopic nature of his plans and by the total lack of sense displayed by our Township Zoning Board in supporting his personal monument to be built on our street.

If the Zoning Board members are so in favor of ruining a neighborhood, why not ruin their own neighborhoods? Many of us on Birch and Leigh Avenues feel that because it is our neighborhood, it doesn’t matter what the Zoning Board decides. It is completely obvious to all of us on these streets in the Community Park neighborhood that, if this New York style jazz club were proposed for Cleveland Lane or Hodge Road, Mr. Distler would be run out of town, not just their neighborhood.

But then, Cleveland Lane and Hodge Road do not house the middle-income voters.