Or, more to the point, healthy narcissists, if you can find them,
“Having a healthy diva around brings a lot of sparkle,” says Meredith Fuller, an Australia-based psychologist. “They make your world more interesting and pleasurable because you can bask in their spotlight with them.”
Fuller has written a book, Working with Bitches: Identify the Eight Types of Office Mean Girls and Rise Above Workplace Nastiness, and is blogging about the Screamer type, which must be in a circle of hell Dante didn’t get to – Virgil probably thought better to avoid it. Indeed,
It is a waste of time to have women caught up in bitching. She wonders why organisations would allow this behaviour.
But back to the healthy divas, Fuller says,
What separates a healthy diva from an unhealthy diva is this: Healthy divas stand up for others, not just themselves, says Ms. Fuller, author of a recent book about overcoming “mean girls” and nastiness at the office. “They are confident of their abilities and contributions, and they love recognition—but they are happy to give credit to others, too.”
All divas are talented and feel a sense of entitlement.
The issue here is, have you ever met a self-proclaimed “diva” who wasn’t a conceited schmuck, not matter how talented?
The article even has a quiz,
Divas are, by definition, high-maintenance star performers. But some are healthier than others, because they are self-aware and willing to share the spotlight. Psychologist Meredith Fuller provided some scenarios to test your ability to tell the difference. Identify which of the two behaviors in each question is healthier. Answers at bottom.
1. Sticking to Their Guns
a. The diva makes various demands about food or working conditions – only to make more demands after the initial demands are met.
b. The diva has specific, but reasonable, demands about working conditions and rarely waivers from them.
2. Accepting Accolades
a. The diva relishes recognition, awards and promotions and if allowed will speak eloquently about how to achieve a dream.
b. The diva relishes recognition, will speak eloquently—and shares credit and acknowledges others’ contributions.
3. Surrounded by Strangers
a. The diva doesn’t really care who is present and will be as demanding with one close colleague as with a room full of people.
b. The diva is most likely to be demanding and inflexible when there are people around, especially those who aren’t friends or colleagues.
4. Trials and Tribulations
a. The diva loves to talk about him- or herself, especially by talking about accomplishments and the difficulties he or she has overcome.
b. The diva loves to talk about him- or herself, especially by telling stories that are engaging but sometimes cast him- or herself in a self-deprecating light.
5. Diva Mode
a. The diva often shifts into diva mode, in which he or she clearly states her requirements, often in an uncomfortably direct manner.
b. The diva often shifts into diva mode, in which he or she expresses displeasure and rants, while co-workers hover and try to figure out what to do.
6. Creative Vision
a. The diva insists on pursuing his or her own creative ideas and vision, but sometimes the ideas fizzle out and then the diva drops them.
b. The diva insists on pursuing his or her own creative ideas and vision and in the vast majority of instances brings the vision to fruition.
No thanks, Elizabeth. I would never hire or date a “diva”. A professional woman willing to take responsibility and offer her ideas and suggestions? I hired them decades ago. An Intelligent, polite but firm, independent woman who expects to be treated as an equal ? That’s the woman in my personal life now.
Be a star performer, and cut out the tantrums and the high maintenance crap. Be polite. Be professional. Treat people with consideration and respect.
You’re an adult, not a petulant child, fer cryin’ out loud.
And, as for the diva in the video, don’t travel to Cuba.