Fausta’s Blog

So Hugo Chavez purchases five new police cars, which were parading as a caravan towards the governor’s office at the state of Bolivar in Puerto Ordaz, when the policeman driving the head car of the caravan sees a policeman lying on the street (I kid you not), and slams the brakes.

Kablooie!

A chain reaction ensues, and all five police cars are totaled.

Couldn’t make it up had I tried.

Gets even better!
Jungle Mom clarifies that “policia acostado” is Venezuelan slang for speed bump.
So the pileup happened when the lead car hit the speed bump.
Bwhahahahaha!

I was posting this Monty Python clip last month,

and now it’s Instapundit’s turn, because of this story:
Diplomat Whose Name Is Dirty Word in Arabic Rejected as Saudi Ambassador

A high-ranking Pakistani diplomat reportedly cannot be appointed ambassador to Saudi Arabia because in Arabic his name translates into a phrase more appropriate for a porn star, referring to the size of male genitals, Foreign Policy reported.

The Arabic transaltion of Akbar Zeb to “biggest d**k” has overwhelmed Saudi officials who have refused to allow his post there.

Zeb has run into this problem before when Pakistan tried to appoint him as ambassador to the United Arab Emirates and Bahrain, where he was rejected for the same reason, according to Foreign Policy.

Scott Johnson takes a more dignified look at the story,

Which raises the question of Akbar Zeb: What, precisely, is the problem? Surely Mr. Zeb would be welcome as Pakistan’s ambassador to France, or Great Britain, or the United States, or Israel, for that matter, if only Pakistan would recognize Israel.

What’s the problem with dispatching Mr, Zeb to Saudi Arabia? Like Pilate, Saudi Arabia appears to have a problem with possible jokes about Mr. Zeb’s name. Could the problem be that among the rules of joking in Islam is the one laid down by Umar ibn ‘Abd al-’Azeez: “Fear joking, for it is folly and generates grudges.” Muhammad himself is quoted as having issued the edict: “Do not laugh too much, for laughing too much deadens the heart.” We see where Mr. Zeb might present a problem in Arabic-speaking countries.

Indeed, it is not just Saudi Arabia that has refused to welcome Mr. Zeb. As the news story notes, David Kenner reports on the Foreign Policy site that, according to the article in the Arab Times that is the source of the story, “Pakistan had previously floated Zeb’s name as ambassador to the United Arab Emirates and Bahrain, only to have him rejected for the same reason.”

Kenner can’t help himself. He adds his own interpretive twist to the story: “One can only assume that submitting Zeb’s name to a number of Arabic-speaking countries is some unique form of punishment designed by the Pakistani Foreign Ministry — or the result of a particularly egregious cockup.”

Explained by a Johnson, too.

Yesterday I was checking the blog stats on what people were looking for (a.k.a. “keyword analysis”) when coming to my blog, and whoa! 10% of people coming to my blog wanted to know “How tall is Scott Brown?”

In the interest of bringing my readers the important information they need, I asked my friend and investigative blogger Dan Riehl, who in turn replied,

I zoomed in on the Cosmo article – says 6′2″ if they were telling the truth. You may have to zoom in all the way but you can make it out.

There you have it,

And, as an additional public service to my readers (and further rule #5), you can check out the 1982 centerfold photo again right here:
(more…)

BlogHer has this post with practical advice, 10 Things Every Woman Should Have in Her Car. All well and good, but since I don’t have a dog I would replace item

5) Dog treats and a spare leash. If you’re not an animal lover I suppose you could skip this one… but, um, ever read Cujo? The chances of having to distract an angry dog are probably slim, but having Milkbones handy is never a bad idea. (Bonus: If you have a dog, yourself, you’ll probably be glad to have a treat handy at some point when your pooch is in tow.)

As for the spare leash, well, it’s possible I’m paranoid. But again, it’s not like it takes up a lot of room….

with an armed bodyguard guy with a carry-concealed permit who’s also a licensed auto mechanic.

Barring that, ignore the dog and stay in the stupid car until AAA gets there.

Perish the thought,

Carville: Airport scanners can ‘measure my penis’

“Let me buy a [security] card, then go and measure my penis, and let me get on the airplane,” he said.

Just don’t drop that ring, Gollum.

People who look young for their age ‘live longer’

People blessed with youthful faces are more likely to live to a ripe old age than those who look more than their years, work shows.

Danish scientists say appearance alone can predict survival, after they studied 387 pairs of twins.

The researchers asked nurses, trainee teachers and peers to guess the age of the twins from mug shots.

Those rated younger-looking tended to outlive their older-looking sibling, the British Medical Journal reports.

Apparently it’s not just a function of people looking younger because they are not burning the candle at both ends, so to speak,

Key pieces of DNA called telomeres, which indicate the ability of cells to replicate, are also linked to how young a person looks.

A telomere of shorter length is thought to signify faster ageing and has been linked with a number of diseases.

In the study, the people who looked younger had longer telomeres.

And now for a non-sequitur,

Couldn’t find a YouTube of the scene where Harpo pulls out of his coat the candle burning at both ends, but here’s the mirror scene instead,

Via Erik, and Larwyn, too.

Yes, it’s the morning after Thanksgiving Day and there’s a list of things that need to be done, Dubay’s gone broke, the Latin Americans are a mess and rude people are crashing White House parties.

What better way, then, to procrastinate than to visit Wedinator, which will not only bring a (sometimes R-rated) chuckle, but will shine a new light on any wedding plans anyone you know may have?

From the Onion,

Obama’s Home Teleprompter Malfunctions During Family Dinner

Meanwhile, the TOTUS, You Say “Potato,” I Say “New Job” …