Emitting carbon in Copenhagen

Andrew Gilligan reports from the summit zoo:
Copenhagen climate summit: 1,200 limos, 140 private planes and caviar wedges
Copenhagen is preparing for the climate change summit that will produce as much carbon dioxide as a town the size of Middlesbrough.

According to the organisers, the eleven-day conference, including the participants’ travel, will create a total of 41,000 tonnes of “carbon dioxide equivalent”, equal to the amount produced over the same period by a city the size of Middlesbrough.

For those of us not familiar, Middlesbrough has a population of 142,691 or so, larger than Savannah, Ga (or a small African country).

As it turns out there aren’t enough limos on Denmark to meet demand, so they’re bringing them from Germany and Sweden:

Ms Jorgensen reckons that between her and her rivals the total number of limos in Copenhagen next week has already broken the 1,200 barrier. The French alone rang up on Thursday and ordered another 42. “We haven’t got enough limos in the country to fulfil the demand,” she says. “We’re having to drive them in hundreds of miles from Germany and Sweden.”

And why bother flying coach?

The airport says it is expecting up to 140 extra private jets during the peak period alone, so far over its capacity that the planes will have to fly off to regional airports – or to Sweden – to park, returning to Copenhagen to pick up their VIP passengers.

Looks like the Swedes are having a sweet time from all this, but the hotels in Copenhagen are loving it,

The top hotels – all fully booked at £650 a night – are readying their Climate Convention menus of (no doubt sustainable) scallops, foie gras and sculpted caviar wedges.

I’m curious at how does one sculpt caviar, but I digress.

Ironically, about the only ones who won’t be rolling in dough are the whores,

the local sex workers’ union – they have unions here – has announced that all its 1,400 members will give free intercourse to anyone with a climate conference delegate’s pass. The term “carbon dating” just took on an entirely new meaning.

Gilligan says

At least the sex will be C02-neutral

but he forgets that humans emit CO2, particularly from all that heavy breathing.

But hey, Christmas is a religious holiday that has no place at a United Nations function, so there won’t be any Christmas trees.

The global alarmists wouldn’t want to have competition for their faith-based cult, would they?

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As if climategate wasn’t enough, Al Gore may be worrying about this:
One of the problems facing the negotiators at Copenhagen is what to do with the mountain of carbon credits that Russia threatens to put on the market. In a news report late last month, the Washington Post noted that under the formula reached under the Kyoto Protocol, “Russia is expected to post the largest absolute drop in emissions from 1990 levels of any of the countries that signed the treaty. But the decline is almost entirely the result of the 1991 collapse of the Soviet economy rather than environmental measures by the government. Critics say Moscow doesn’t deserve to keep its carbon credits because it didn’t earn them with any special effort. ” The West could retrospectively compensate the Russians for the collapse of the Soviet economy.

How else to face this? Borrowing!

“Borrow to the hilt to stop global warming, says Lord Stern”,

Imagine that. A global warming dyed in the wool believer thinks borrowing to the hilt is a good idea.

In the meantime, China, India, Brazil and South Africa are not going along with the recommendation to cut emissions. I’m willing to bet that their whores remain honest and insist on demanding cold hard cash, too.

Al won’t be going to the conference. Maybe he’s contemplating going into the conference limo rental business, if only to leverage himself from the possible loss in the carbon-credit business.

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5 Responses to “Emitting carbon in Copenhagen”

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  3. O Bloody Hell Says:

    > and sculpted caviar wedges.

    Nah, that’s a misprint. They’re going to give the work staff caviar wedgies.

    Those elites, they’re such cards. Ha ha ha.

  4. ewetender Says:

    Caviar wedgies can be a nasty subject. ewww fish eggs in yer butt crack!
    NY Times
    U.N. Lifts Ban on Beluga Caviar, Overruling Environmentalists.
    By FELICITY BARRINGER
    Published: February 6, 2007

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